Steve’s Confession (of stupidity)

Yes, well the words “Epic Failure” are ringing in my head, bouncing back and forth across the void between my ears.  This relates to why I have posted so infrequently and why the excellent writing projects that I’ve begun and even committed to have gone begging.

Now calling them excellent may be a bit of a hopeful valuation, but if you are reading this perhaps you feel as I do.  I’ve got to say that I love my world of Tir na Nua, I want to paint my world of Tir na Nua, I want to share my world of Tir na Nua. 

So I feel like a complete idiot for being seduced by Writing dot Com.  I’ve so little time to write, so reviewing and doing contests is clearly not what I aught to do, it disipates me.  Beyond even the tasks of writing is the research that leads to what I want to write.  Instead I’ve spent time trying to gather information to write stories that I don’t actually care about.

I have a lot of illusions (had planned to say I don’t have any illusions but I realize that I am probably rife with them) but a claim to writing excellence is not currently one of them.  I know I need to work on my craft, my story-telling skill, my clarity. 

That is part of what I wanted to do at Writing dot Com.  I think my instincts, my realization of need, was correct.  At times I really suck as a writer.   Unfortunately, sometimes I don’t even realize when I’m sucking and when I might be tickling something that is of actual value.  Sometimes I discover how truly vomitous my writing can be while re-reading something that I thought was pretty good.

It is all part of what this blog is supposed to be, my process, my development, my journey.  Have I drifted into the vomitous?  I think perhaps I have.  But I need to get back to what I want to do with the little time I have to do it.  That includes writing on the projects I’ve begun.  I do think that I should re-work some of what I wrote that stinks.

So this is my confession.  I’m an idiot.  I hope to be more focused.  I’ve known I needed that for a month and yet failed to effect the proper changes.  Maybe now I can.  I’ve just finished George R. R. Martin’s latest and though it only left me wanting more it did help me realize that I really want to write on my projects.  The world of Tir na Nua should not wait.