Why I’m Starting to Think Global Warming Is Just Hot Air

The science is settled.  Everyone agrees.  So why are we the only ones doing anything about it?

The Portland City Council and Multnomah County have launched their locality into a brave, if foolish, new world.  Gathering stake-holders (not sure where you get the stakes) they hammered out a bold new plan to reduce green-house gas emissions by a startling 80% from their 1990s levels, in effect bringing our energy use back to the 1870s.  Idiotic or visionary ahead of their time? 

Perhaps boy Genius (and molester) Mayor Sam Adams etal. saw the future of the United States, less and less production, job losses continuing, businesses failing or becoming the nations only export, and they had wisdom and foresight to have the stake-holders in to hold while they just went ahead and hammered that stake right through the heart of business.

No confirmation as yet of reports that Randy Lenard is taking violin lessons.*

“So Steve,” you say, “What if Global Warming really is going to do all the horrible things that ALL the scientists agree, especially the ones funded by the government to do studies to assess global warming?”

And I have got to agree.  That would be bad.  Really bad!  So if all this is going to happen why isn’t anybody trying to figure out what to do when it happens?  Huh? 

Didn’t see that coming, did you?

No, though the science is settled.  Yep, we are doing it.  There is no talk about what we are going to do to survive the apocalypse. . .   . . .now. . . IF temperature was going to rise markedly one might, if one were rational, want to plan what that temperature might do to growing seasons and what not.  One might be concerned about the reported paucity of water on one hand and the horrible storms the climate change will undoubtedly cause and create reservoirs to hold more fresh water so island nations don’t disappear, thus solving one problem with another.

But no, all focus is on CO2.  Why do you suppose that is?  I mean if we were really serious about saving the world from calamity there are more draconian measures we could take or even more effective ones that don’t involve nuking China and India.  Like. . . ,staying in transportation, what if we painted all our parking lots and roadways a nice reflective white? Madness you say but imagine how much solar radiation would be reflected harmlessly back into space instead of being trapped and allowed to warm our dear defenseless planet.  Roofs could be white too, or mirrored– out out damned energy!

Then too, broccoli, cabbage, and all legumes must be outlawed.  Now people, I know that SOME people like these foods, but you have to realize that methane gas (a major component of ummmm, errrr, well. . .   . . . flatulence) is 10,000 times more effective, or should I say planet wrecking DaNgErOus, at trapping heat. GASP! 

Now I don’t hear a lot of talk about rounding up all Vegans, but darn it, were talking about the survival of the planet here.  Sacrifices must be made.  And I, for one, am giving up broccoli.

It turns out that even Vegans are not the worst offenders though.  Water vapor is even more pernicious and pervasive a heat trapping pollutant/necessary to life compound.  We can’t really do anything about our water problem, the planet’s surface is over 70% infested with what some people have called “THE UNIVERSAL SOLVENT.” In addition to the travesty that it is to have our pristine oceans almost totally composed of such a chemical, it turns out that when heated this stuff turns into (cough hack cough cough) WATER VAPOR!  We may already have reached a tipping point where more heating will just make more water vapor.  Where will it end?

Perhaps an ice-age, nobodies quite sure.  But the science is settled on Global Warming.  It IS a very inconvenient “Truth.”



Sometimes things just come to me.  Stop me if this is crazy.  What if we take all the greenhouse gas emitting water from out oceans and hurl it at the Sun? Could we extinguish the Sun and thereby save ourselves from global warming?

But seriously. . .

Nah, that’s too much to ask.

But really folks,  do you think that the United States or a particularly silly subset of US like Portland Oregon committing economic suicide is going to stop the globe (because natural sources out weigh human causes by orders of magnitude) or our global partners like China and India who are now doing most of the manufacturing from emitting these supposed pollutants and doing it with much less environmentally care? 

So now we come down to the nut.  The fun is over and it is time for the point.  Seriously.  These “environmental efforts” have nothing to do with the environment, they have to do with eradicating America, and in particular Americans, or at least controlling us.  It isn’t that they hate all people, though they do, it is that they hate American people in particular and with passion.

Who are they?  I’ll call them Neo-Coms.  The new communist, trans-global, superior, revolted by troglodytes that claim to be of the same species.  China is admired by these people that carp about the CO2 we create, but don’t notice that the filth from China actually reaches across the Pacific Ocean to pollute the wilderness we don’t even let our own people go into. 

Why? Because while China is able to exploit the environment to create wealth, it is effective in controlling its population so that wealth can be concentrated in the hands of the elite.  Get a Neo-Com mad enough you might get him to admit that in his mind people are the problem.  What am I talking about!?!  Listen to them at all and you see that they hate people.

So let me bring it home.  Portland Oregon is going to reduce it’s carbon emmisions by 80%, or as I like to put it, commit economic suicide.  I have the consolation to know that though this action will ruin lives and destroy a pretty nice place to live (not to mention my property value) morons like our Mayor, Sam Adams, and his thug pal, Randy Leonard (could he really have been a fireman?) are not the elites they think themselves.  They are Mao’s useful idiots, tools of the Neo-Coms, soon to be discarded when they have worked their ruin.

I’ll see you guys in the rice paddies.


* This wee bit of aberrata was to associate Randy with the mad Emperor Nero who famously fiddled while Rome burned.  Notably Nero blamed Christians for the fire that he probably started on his own.  Like I said, mad. 

Randy is mad. . .     . . . alot.